by Laurel Fantauzzo
5 Stars
My Heart Underwater by Laurel Flores Fantauzzo is written about a Filipino-American girl named Corazon Tagubio, living in California with her parents, who she calls Mama and Papa. She’s young and figuring herself out, specifically her sexuality in regards to her crush on Ms. Holden, the AP European History substitute teacher. Corazon, or “Cory” for short, has conflicting feelings about her queerness and her religion. Cory’s morality class says that her feelings are “intrinsically disordered” and “contrary to Natural Law.” One day, her secret is uncovered. Cory’s Papa goes through something that seems like it will change him forever. Everything seems to crumble; to make it worse, Cory is sent to the Philippines to live with unknown relatives. She seems afraid of these unfamiliar people, unfamiliar mannerisms, and an unfamiliar country. Readers may appreciate Fantauzzo’s wonderful ability to understand how to give the readers a proper look into the intensity or sadness of a moment. My Heart Underwater features the integration of Tagalog and Taglish (Tagalog & English), which adds to the genuineness of its Filipino perspective. This added aspect can help other Filipino readers to feel seen in a way not commonly found in books or any media before. Personally, its authenticity in speaking to the Filipino perspective in North America really spoke to me and made me feel heard, warm and sad in all the right ways. One quote that really resonated with me that made me pause and think was this, “‘Some men,’ she begins, ‘Sometimes… all they know how to do, is control. If you try to be away from their control, in any small way, they punish. I was not like my sister, ready to please, ready to obey. If you must reshape yourself, contort yourself, for their love, anak, it is not love.'” The banter between parent and child really brought joy to my heart, and seeing how Cory’s relationship with her parents evolve and change with many surprises was truly lovely to read through.
Though the story felt so perfect, there were some flaws. Some writing techniques felt a little repetitive and boring at times. For example, the use of continual commas that might have indicated Cory’s worry repeated so much that it was uninteresting to read. There were also some parts within the book that was a little dull such as her arrival in the Philippines. Some parts of the plot seemed too rushed to fully take in, for instance, Cory’s romances throughout the book.
Overall, even with some minimal imperfections, the book was so worth reading. All the fierce scenes of emotional rollercoasters or happy little moments were so amusing and entertaining to read. As a queer Filipino living with immigrant parents, in a North American country, it depicted my life almost perfectly. It made me feel seen and important, which is crucial and major to literature now. My Heart Underwater, for me, was a 9/10. It’s definitely a must-read for anyone looking to see a different cultural perspective you may not be used to, and it is very enjoyable to absorb yourself into.
Leo V.
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